ConsciousCreation

Travel Log Part VIII
All’s quiet on this front! The puppies have been outside to do their business. Luckily we caught the break between rain showers to get into the backyard. They’ve been fed…I’ve had my first cup of coffee. (By the way, Community Coffee is the best!) The rest of the house is sleeping in on this rainy day. The only sounds we hear are the wind chimes in the back yard and the steady falling rain.
As I drank my coffee, I read the daily entries from Melody Beattie and Mark Nepo – and as is so often the case, their messages’ focus carried a similar theme. Today the message centered around choice ~ who, what, why ~ the focus on when and where not included ~ hopefully covered at a later date!
The ‘what’ was all about passion. The basic question was “What stirs the passion in me?”. As I read that, my initial thought was ‘that’s easy.” As I sat there pondering the question, I was surprised to realize that I couldn’t clearly articulate what that might be! Really, Toni? Surely you know what inspires and ignites you, right? One would think so and yet this morning nothing would gel! I asked myself if I was really that out of touch with my Self. Perhaps it’s just that I’ve unconsciously numbed myself for awhile. After all, November was quite a month. I don’t believe there is a total disconnection; it’s just that I’ve turned the volume down on the inner thought processes for awhile.
The longer I sat with the chimes and the rain, the more obvious it became that this morning’s messages for Mark and Meloday were more about the conscious awareness of the ‘who’ of the choice, not the ‘what’ or the ‘why’. Intellectually, I know that there is always a choice, that the choice is mine to make, and often the external influences weigh more heavily on the choice made than I am consciously aware. These seem to be the times also when I claim not to understand why things don’t work out like I expected or I blame anyone/anything but myself for the results. Of course, there are myriad factors that can impact any decision and it’s not always possible to be aware of the totality. However, I have learned that when I consciously remember that the decision is mine to make, my response to the outcome is more centered and provides a more stable platform from which to move forward.
So, today I choose to be the main driver of choices. And of course that will cause me to focus on removing the fog and getting clear on what inspires me, what energizes me, what creates passion within my soul! I may even answer the “why.”