ConsciousCreation

Love doesn’t disappear ~ It simply changes shapes

In December 2025, my two ‘puppies’ – Daisy and Auggie aka Augustine – and I left Minnesota after my work there was completed.  
We headed back to what I have always considered home — Louisiana — for the sunshine, warm temps, and, hopefully, some peace.  
We were welcome with open arms by my sister, Nelle, and her ‘puppy’ Ballou at our first landing place, her home in Slidell. 

THREE DIFFERENT DOGS

My two ‘puppies’ are 13-year-old mixed terriers, each weighing about 16 pounds – each a little crabby, a little arthritic, and very particular about their diet and their sleeping arrangements.  

My sister’s ‘puppy’ Ballou is a 7-year-old, 70-pound Boxer-Lab mix, very curious and suspicious of anyone other than my sister and my niece. 

Needless to say, when the three of us showed up at Ballou’s door, she wasn’t totally pleased.  
Our first week played like a sitcom.  Auggie decided that she was not going to put up with Ballou’s protests.  With all the bravado a 16-pound terrier can muster, Auggie returned Ballou’s protests with her own.  
Unexpectedly, Ballou backed down — a surprised look on her face that made the adults in the room laugh out loud. 
That scene replayed itself often –without serious consequences.

ENTER THE GENTLE GIANT

Then entered a new player – my niece’s ‘puppy’ — Apollo, a 150-lb, white Great Pyrenees.  
He is one of the most beautiful, most gentle dogs I’ve ever known.  And he clearly knew his role in this sitcom! 

With the new player came new tension.  When Auggie, Daisy, and Ballou showed signs of starting some sh*#, Apollo slowly walked over, gave a quiet arf, and laid down gently on Ballou – no growling, no drama – just a firm, embodied NO.  

Game over – peace in the house.
And that was the end of that.  
Most of the time.

A PEACE PACT

Soon after that, Ballou and I had our own peace-making opportunity.  

I surprised her one morning as I turned the corner into the living room.   She stood frozen, wide-eyed in confusion, ears perked and body tense.  

My initial reaction was Oh Sh*#!  Now what? 
I reminded myself — she was scared, protective of her space and her mom.  She didn’t know yet that I love puppies.  

So, I went still, held out my hands, and sent love energy to her heart.  
It took her a minute to realize that I was a friend, not a foe – that all I wanted to do was love her! 

It made my heart sing when she relaxed, came and licked my outstretched hand.  
We’ve been friends ever since then. 

ANOTHER REALITY WAS UNFOLDING

While we were figuring out the dynamics in my sister’s house, another reality was quietly unfolding.  

Before the move, I had noticed that both Daisy and Auggie were beginning to struggle with day-to-day things.  
Walks were shorter.  Naps were longer.  Food sometimes was not touched.  Sometimes it came back up. Vet visits were more frequent with fewer solutions.

For the first time in the twelve years we had been together, the possibility of life without them was more than a throw-away line uttered while cleaning up a mess.  

Burying hard thoughts is something I learned early in life. I became very good at it.  
This was one of those thoughts.  
I told myself that once we got to Louisiana and settled in, they would be fine. 

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Those two were the unconditional love in my life.
  
They were waiting at the door when I came home. 
They trusted me to get breakfast and dinner on time.  
They let me know when someone was at the front door 
I could share my deepest secrets with them.
They were good travel companions. 
They forgave me when I blamed them for the crappy state of the world or my day.  
They would hop up on the couch and watch the entire baseball game with me. 
At night we would all find our spot on the bed for a good night’s sleep.  
In the morning, they were my alarm clock and always knew the days we could sleep in.

As the weeks rolled by, it became evident that the move was more stressful on the puppies than I had anticipated.  

Their world was shrinking. 
My heart was aching as I watched the light dim in their eyes.

A GOOD DAY

A friend once shared with me – if we’re going to send our four-legged friends on the journey over the rainbow bridge, we should do it on a good day.  

On January 21^st, my two ‘puppies,’ my loving companions in life, walked across that bridge together.
I blew them kisses. I waved goodbye.  
I sat on the floor in the vet’s office and sobbed. 
Even now, my eyes fill with tears and my heart aches.

A VISIT

It was a week later, just before I was fully awake.  Daisy showed up — vibrant and joyful. 
She wanted to let me know that they were doing great.  Auggie was off looking for Tam (that’s another story for another day) and she would be around later. 
We just lay there for a moment.  
She told me they knew I was talking to them at times — and that was good.  

And then she was gone. 
What remained was love 

Unconditional love.  

WOULD I FEEL THAT AGAIN?

After that visit, I often wondered if I would ever know that kind of unconditional love again.  

That sense of ease and safety, 
That sense of being ‘at home’
That kind of love that allows my body to instinctively release tension and open to the flow of uplifting light 
That quiet, steady, profound sense of connection — to myself and the world in which I live

Then one evening Ballou hopped up on the bed with me and stayed the night.  
She is now my breakfast companion, sitting patiently waiting to get the last bite of my morning waffle. 

Apollo visits often — and he still is one of the best huggers I know, generously leaving beautiful white fur on my black jeans.  

No, it’s not the same. 
And – it is love that they give me
A love I feared I might not know again.  

I do believe Daisy and Auggie are looking down with great big smiles on their faces!  

It turns out love does not disappear – it simply changes shape.