It is interesting how often I am urged to let go of the past and then I think – I already have. When that message came to me again today, I had to ask myself if, rather than releasing, I have rationalized or maybe reconciled with it rather than let it go. As I thought more about that, it occurred to me that this releasing thing may be more like a four-stage process – Recognition, Rationalization, Reconciliation, Release – and that, more often than not, I had stopped at Stages 1, 2 or 3 and called it Release (Stage 4). If that is truly what I have done, then that ‘thing’ I thought I was releasing – the word, event, energetic wave, action that seems to be a stumbling block or barrier in the present – is still around, camouflaged on the wall of memories. I have recognized the thought, the feeling, the situation from the past. And I have recognized it as unproductive, maybe even harmful, and unnecessary in the present. And maybe rationalized and/or reconciled to it without true release.
So, maybe a deeper look at each of the stages would be helpful.
“Recognize” – my initial reaction is that I understand this one. However, on second glance I know that often what I recognize is a discomfort in the present, a feeling of frustration, anger, hurt, guilt, sadness, smallness – something or someone in my present appears to create or draw those from me. When I am conscious in that moment, my knowing reminds me that ‘out there’ doesn’t create; my being labels the energy that emerges in reaction to ‘out there.’ And for reasons that appear to be unconscious, I have labeled that energy a specific way. Asking “why” without judgment can then lead me to a source point and true recognition has taken place. Stage 2 can then begin.
“Rationalize” – I’m big on definitions and I thought that rationalize was the correct word for Stage 2, and there was a little pocket of questioning. So to the dictionary I go! The third definition giving here is pretty much what I was looking for…..
1. to justify (one’s actions, esp discreditable actions, or beliefs) with plausible reasons, esp after the event
2. (Psychology) Psychol to indulge, often unchallenged, in excuses for or explanations of (behaviour about which one feels uncomfortable or guilty)
3. to apply logic or reason to (something)
4. (Business / Commerce) (tr) to eliminate unnecessary equipment, personnel, or processes from (a group of businesses, factory, etc.), in order to make it more efficient
5. (Mathematics) (tr) Maths to eliminate one or more radicals without changing the value of (an expression) or the roots of (an equation
And of course, the key to an effective Stage 2 is to ensure that I don’t get caught in definitions 1 or 2!!! It is import that the reasons/logic be valid for the time past and fit the known facts – not be excuses, defenses. As I examine all the elements of the ‘situation’ from the witness perspective, without the immediate energy of emotion, perspective shifts. It is important for me to look at each component of the situation/thought/feeling in question to more clearly see and understand the ‘source’. In doing that, I come to a clearer understanding of the ‘why’ and ‘how.’ This is one of those times when ‘me first’ really is appropriate….my own behavior, feelings and thoughts –how it felt and what the fear was. First myself and then others. Like peeling an onion, each iteration of the process releases a vapors and usually a few more tears!
Then the Stage 3 – Reconcile – is about bringing the thoughts and feelings forward and accepting them. Yes it did happen and this is the positive result that shows up in the present as a result of the past. The focus is on the positive aspect, rather than the perceived negative result. How does that past ‘thing’ support my present being? How did it help me “be” where I am today? Once the new understanding is clear, then I can give thanks for it and all that created it. Using the principles for thanks giving, affirmations, meditation, I can strengthen and expand the present Truth. With persistence and practice, the ‘old’ pattern or belief is released. At some point, I will know that the Stage 4 Release is complete, that the past has informed me and no longer controls me….until the next ‘oh shit’ hits me and I start the process all over again!!!
ConsciousCreation 